?

Log in

curiosity

September 2016

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930 

Tags

Syndicate

RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com

Previous 30

Sep. 26th, 2016

curiosity

Fall is Here. Winter is Coming.

Very windy today. The trees are thrashing outside.

I was very happy to be able to celebrate the Equinox with my Coven sisters outside at a bonfire last week. I don't get to have fires as much as I like.

It is getting chilly. I should take the A/C out of the window now. The leaves on the trees in my yard are beginning to turn.

Luckily I have cats to keep me warm. Ninshubur has become a little love bug. She is very demanding of affection.

Sep. 23rd, 2016

curiosity

New Book Group, Art Outside.

Wednesday and Thursday were rest days. I really needed a rest break.

Today was the first meeting of our new "fiction" book group. Our first book is "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek", which is non-fiction. We may read "Ordinary Magic" next, which is also non-fiction. But these are fairly light, uplifting, reading.

After book group I went to Wegmans and picked up some fruit and fish for dinner. I don't get fish very often. I got a small piece of cod. I can dredge it on cornmeal and fry it up just like mom used to do. It is about the same size as the cod we used to catch up by the shore in Maine. Not a huge one like they catch out in the ocean. I would have liked a catfish fillet, but they only had them with the bones still in.

When I got home the neighbors in the next house were out on their porch so I went over and taught Bri and her friend how to make a simple Pennsylvania Dutch Hex Sign with the chalk I gave her for her birthday. They didn't have any twine so first I had to teach her how to make plarn out of a grocery bag. She and her friend complained about how hard it is to draw on the ground. But I think they had fun coloring it in. Bri said they were going to come over to my place for art classes. I would love that, if my apartment were in better condition. I guess I will have to work on that. And find my Hex Sign class materials.

I really need to get this "stuff" under control.

Sep. 21st, 2016

curiosity

And then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

Well, it's more of a dull ache than a pain.

When I got home on Sunday night I noticed that my left buttock was sore. I thought a bit about how to describe this pain. It is not a sharp pain. it is more of a soreness, like an old bruise. It was worse in some positions than others. Since then I have noticed that it is also worse when I'm trying to stand up.

At first I thought I might have sat on something and bruised my hip. But now I'm pretty sure it is arthritis in my hip. The arthritis in my knees manifests as pain and soreness in the muscles around the joint. I've been having lower back pain for a while that I'm pretty sure is from hip joint pain. (It is in the wrong place for kidney pain.) So, I have concluded that this new pain is just more arthritis in the hip.

My left side has always given my trouble. I've had an intermittent pain in my left thigh since high school. And my left knee was the first to go.

Anyway, it is annoying but not terrible.
curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Sep. 13th, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Sep. 11th, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:
curiosity

Autumn Leave, Modern Magic, Bitten, and New Neighbors.

It's been almost a week since I posted. I needed to recover from my Labor Day weekend. It's been hot and muggy. It is very hard for me to get things done when I'm so hot. and I get sweat rashes. Swimming is a great way for me to get exercise without the sweat rashes. But that doesn't help for getting things done around the house. And the flies this time of year are driving me crazy. They aren't the usual cluster flies either. This year they are smaller faster biting flies. I'm looking forward to winter killing them all.

Marilyn and I started reading "Modern Magick: Twelve Lessons in the High Magickal Arts" by Donald Michael Kraig. We did that on Tuesday and Friday.

Wednesday, was my monthly lunch with Marilyn and Anne. We went to Old Mexico this month.

Yesterday, Marilyn helped me empty my car of recyclables. Then we went to Autumn Leaves, the used book store on The Commons, to look at Tarot decks.

MM requires you to have a particular kind of Tarot deck. I already own a Rider-Waite-Smith deck but Marilyn has some kind of Hippie deck. I wish I could find my old Desert Oracle. That was one freaky deck. I'm afraid I gave it away because I didn't use it very often, and now I can't find another copy for love or money. I want to start using my Dixit decks more often. I need to make carrying cases for them.

I ended up buying some "Women of the Otherworld" books by Kelley Armstrong. Someone gave me the 3rd and 4th books in the series and I haven't read them yet because I wanted to start at the beginning. The first two books are about a female werewolf. They made a TV series based on them, called "Bitten". The 3rd and 4th books are about Witches. I don't think the TV series kept very closely to the plots of the books.

MM also requires that we keep Dream Journals. Marilyn gave me a couple of spiral notebooks. I decorated one and keep it by bed to write down my dreams. It seems like an interesting exercise.

We have new tenants in apartment 4. They appear to be a Muslim couple. I met the woman outside. She was wearing a hajab and long sleeves. I said hi to her and introduced myself. We shook hands and I welcomed her to the building. Yesterday I met the man while I was taking out my garbage. He was wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. He declined to shake my hand because he "doesn't shake hands". But he did offer to take my garbage to the dumpster for me. I felt a little weird about that. He wouldn't touch my hand but he would touch my stinky garbage bag. Apparently it is a religious thing about not touching people of the opposite sex unless you are having sex with them. Which explains why the woman shook my hand and the man will probably shake hands with other men. That is life in a diverse neighborhood. And he did take my garbage to the dumpster for me, so that was nice.

Sep. 5th, 2016

curiosity

Labor Day Weekend

I spent the weekend at Song's. It was quiet. I decided to not try to do too much. We watched a nature documentary called "How to Grow a Planet". It was a very good show. And I only made her stop it a few of times so I could go on a rant. The only rants I can remember were about: whether our primate ancestors started standing up so they could look over the grass or to carry courtship gifts (they went with the grass theory), how minerals turn into limestone (they didn't say), and whether wheat was cultivated to make bread or beer (I prefer the beer theory).

I crocheted a neckline for one of my shirts, and fixed a couple of rips. I worked on a crocheted recycled bag project I keep down there to keep my hands busy.

Now if I can just find my little embroidery hoops I have some ideas for embroidering some of my shirts.

I think I'm allergic to something on Song's couch. My forearms and lower legs have developed a rash. We'll see if it goes away now that I'm home.

For Labor Day I talked Song into grilling some sausages while The Teenager and I washed dishes and made chocolate cookies. Now my clothes smell like smoke and I wasn't even outside. But I like it when my clothes smell like smoke.

I call it a successful weekend. I feel good.
Tags:

Sep. 1st, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Aug. 29th, 2016

Make Magic

Still Cooking.

I made the falafel, tabbouleh, and tzatziki.
I'm all out of bread for sandwiches.
This morning I made chocolate tofu pudding.
I still need to cook some chicken for tacos. I could just cook it plain but I want to try out my chicken taco idea. I don't think I have made chicken tacos before.

I'm not really happy with my tzatziki. I put in Yogurt, cucumbers, raw garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, dill, salt, and pepper. But it tastes like it's missing something. Maybe it needs more lemon.
Tags: ,

Aug. 26th, 2016

Make Magic

What to cook?!

I have the makings for:
BLTs
Falafel
Tabbouleh
Tzatziki
Chicken Tacos
Tofu Smoothies (With frozen mango or blueberries)
Pizza
Eggplant Rollatinis
Fried Fish
Jello- Blancmange
Chocolate tofu pudding


The BLTs require frying the bacon.

I just made a batch of Falafel mix. They would need to be fried.

I haven't made the Tzatziki yet. I want that for the Falafel.

I haven't made the Tabbouleh yet but I should before the parsley wilts.

I really should cook up that chicken.

Everything else is frozen or dried and can wait.
Tags: ,

Aug. 24th, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Aug. 22nd, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Aug. 20th, 2016

curiosity

Arby's Chicken Salad

Arby's makes a "Market Fresh" Pecan Chicken salad in the summer. It's a really good chicken salad sandwich made with real ingredients such as a real person might make at home. So I made it at home.

You take some leftover chicken, add some halved seedless red grapes, chopped red apple, sliced celery, and pecans. Then mix in some mayo, but not too much. And serve on whole grain bread with a couple of lettuce leaves.

You could leave off the bread and just eat it as a salad. But I recommend eating it right away, or leaving the pecans out and adding them just before you eat it, because the pecans loose their crunch if you keep the salad overnight.

Arby's uses huge slices of bread and I find that this salad falls out of my sandwiches at home. So a wrap or a lettuce wrap works better.

It's pretty good even without the celery and apples. I added a dash of lemon juice. Some people use: walnuts instead of pecans, tempeh instead of chicken, yogurt or sour cream instead of mayo.

And some people add: salt and pepper, dried cranberries, mango flavored dried cranberries, parsley, spinach, and cayenne pepper.

Marilyn came over for dinner and I made this for her. We have been catching up on Supernatural.

My bout of depression on Tuesday passed quickly as usual. I've been feeling pretty good.

Aug. 16th, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:
curiosity

Depression.

Well, last Wednesday I had a bit of a melt down. But that had a proximate cause.

Today I woke up feeling out of sorts and now I'm having depressing thoughts and crying. I'm going to try an ativan and see if that helps.

Aug. 15th, 2016

curiosity

It's been a busy four weeks.

First it was the week at the lakehouse. Then it was Song's wedding. Then a week with The Cuteness. Then this week with three days in Binghamton babysitting The Cuteness. And J stayed over last night. He took me out for breakfast this morning.

At least J talked me into putting the air conditioner in the window. It has been very hot and muggy for the past few days. Today was better.

It was still hot and muggy downtown so I went swimming at my gym. Maybe next time I will bring a book and read for a while in the air conditioning.

I don't have anything else scheduled for several weeks. I will take the time to rest and recover.

Aug. 2nd, 2016

curiosity

I have a little time on the computer before The Cuteness returns.

She tends to monopolize the computer. I was trying to get things done the other day and she was literally kicking me in the head. Not very hard of course. But it was annoying. And she was doing it because I was on the computer and she wanted to watch her shows. Right now she has gone across the hall to play with the neighbor kids. they go to bed at 8 so I have some time.

Today was a quiet day. She played on the computer and I slept. Tomorrow will be busy. We have to go to Binghamton in the morning.

I have been making Cuteness approved dinners. Sunday we had homemade mac and cheese. Monday I made tacos. And today I made homemade "chicken nuggets". She is so picky about "spices" I'm surprised that she will eat tacos. This is a child who complained that a plain cold hamburger "hurt her tongue". But she ate a taco with no complaint. It had onions, garlic, cumin, and chili powder in it. The chicken nuggets were just slices of boneless skinless chicken breast breaded in parmesan cheese and fried. She ate several of them. So I call that a win. She also ate 5 whole wheat tortillas and a bag of shredded cheese for lunch. I had her eat an apple to try to get some fiber.

I've also been giving her children's vitamins to make up for the veggies she isn't eating.
curiosity

Life of Pi

I got off to a bad start because I was offended by the pretense that this really happened. I know that all fiction pretends to be true. But this book started off with an author explaining how he met Pi and learned this story and wrote this book. It just put me off.

Now that I'm reading it again I'm finding lots of things to like.

This was tougher read than I was expecting for a popular book. The middle boggs down a lot. It is really boring to be lost at sea. It picks up around chapter 84, when he sees a whale. And there is lightning storm in chapter 85. In Chapter 92 he finds a floating island. That was pretty cool. There are exactly 100 chapter. That helped.

This is a religious book, in a non-denominational way. The main character is a practicing: Hindu, Catholic, and Muslim. People from all three faith keep telling him that he isn't supposed to do that. But he does it anyway. And his faith does comfort him in his ordeal. As a Wiccan I'm OK with that. I can really relate to the Hinduism.

The theme, as opposed to the plot, is that religion is a better story than dry, yeastless factuality. Although he does praise Atheists, over Agnostics, as at least having faith in something. Although I doubt any Atheist would thank him for that. Ironically, Atheists like to think that they are strong in their faith in the non-existence of God and would never sincerely convert in times of stress. I think he got Atheists and Agnostics backwards.

"If we, citizens, do not support our artists, then we sacrifice our imagination on the altar of crude reality and we end up believing in nothing and having worthless dreams." (p xii)

"Sometimes I got my majors mixed up. A number of my fellow religious-studies students--muddled agnostics who didn't know which way was up, who were in the thrall of reason, that fool's gold for the bright--reminded me of the three-toed sloth; and the three-toed sloth, such a beautiful example of the miracle of life, reminded me of God" (p5)

"But religion is more than rite and ritual. There is what the rite and ritual stand for. Here too I am a Hindu. The universe makes sense to me through Hindu eyes, There is Brahman, the world soul, the sustaining frame upon which is woven, warp and weft, the cloth of being, with all its decorative elements of space and time. There is Brahman nirguna, without qualities, which lies beyond understanding, beyond description, beyond approach; with our poor words we sew a suit for it--One, Truth, Unity, Absolute, Ultimate Reality, Ground of Being--and try to make it fit, but Brahman nirguna always bursts the seams. We are left speechless. But there is also Brahman saguna, with qualities, where the suit fits. Now we call it Shiva, Krishna, Shakti, Ganesha; we can discern certain attributes--loving, merciful, frightening--and we feel the gentle pull of relationship. Brahman saguna is Brahman made manifest to our limited senses, Brahman expressed not only in gods but in humans, animals, trees, in a handful of earth, for everything has a trace of the divine in it. The truth of life is that Brahman is no different from atman, the spiritual force within us, what you might call the soul. The individual soul touches upon the world soul like a well reaches for the water table. That which sustains the universe beyond thought and language, and that which is at the core of us and struggles for expression, is the same thing. The finite within the the infinite, the infinite within the finite." (pp 48-49)

"I can well imagine an atheist's last words: "White, white! L-L-Love! My God!"-- and the deathbed leap of faith. Whereas the agnostic, if he stays true to his reasonable self, if he stays beholden to dry, yeastless factuality, might try to explain the warm light bathing him by saying, "Possibly a f-f-failing oxygenation of the b-b-brain, " and to the very end, lack imagination and miss the better story." (p 64)

"People move because of the wear and tear of anxiety. Because of the gnawing feeling that no matter how hard they work their efforts will yield nothing, that what they build up in one year will be torn down in one day by others, Because of the impression that the future is blocked up, that they might do all right but not their children. Because of the feeling that nothing will change, that happiness and prosperity are possible only somewhere else." (p 79)

"To look out with idle hope is tantamount to dreaming one's life away." (p 169)

"Doesn't the telling of something always become a story"
"The world isn't just the way it is. it is how we understand it, no? And in understanding something, we bring something to it, no? Doesn't that make it life a story?" (p302)

"I know what you want. You want a story that won't surprise you. That will confirm what you already know. That won't make you see higher or further or differently. You want a flat story. An immobile story. You want dry, yeastless factuality." (p302)

"So tell me, since it makes no factual difference to you and you can't prove the question either way, which story do you prefer? Which is the better story, the story with the animals or the story without animals?"
"And so it goes with God." (p 317)
Tags:

Aug. 1st, 2016

curiosity

Song's Wedding and The Cuteness comes for a visit.

Last week went way too fast. I slept a lot to recover from the party week. But I also had to make a tabard and shawl for Song's wedding. I managed to get everything finished in time. And I even got to the site before the Bride.

Song wanted to have a wedding to herself. A big fancy ceremony where she declared herself sufficient alone. An adulting ceremony. The ceremony was very nice. It took place on a blue wooden bridge over a lily pond full of koi fish. Craig cast the circle with a very nice stag antler staff and was the east challenge. Song arrived in a silver cloak and had to pass four challenges as she crossed the bridge. Mowg was the south challenge, she was very intense. Tracy was the west challenge, in the middle of the bridge. And I was the north. When she got to me I essentially administered wedding vows. Self care is the challenge of earth. Than she threw off her cloak and I helped put up her wings. Unfortunately the wings had gotten twisted and did not go up as easily as I had hoped. But they were still pretty. I look forward to the pictures.

Then we hung out for an hour until dinner was served. The Mirbeau spa in Skaneateles is beautiful and the food is first class. After dinner the bride and some of the guest went to take advantage of the spa. I took The Cuteness home with me. I get to keep her for a week while Song has a "honeymoon" with her self.

Saturday we went grocery shopping and took back all the returnable bottles. Sunday we went out to pick up some eggs from my egg dealer. And I made The Cuteness a batch of playdough. Today she wants to go to the Science Center.

She has been helping me clean out the apartment by taking things down to the car, or the dumpster, for me. Today we can go to the recycling center and get rid of some more stuff. I'm feeling pretty productive.

The Cuteness has decided she wants to sleep in my bed with me, like we did at the lake house. It makes her feel safe. I think I sleep better with her there too. People are not really meant to sleep alone. The cats are getting used to her. Daisy let The Cuteness brush her. And last night Ninshubur actually slept next to her for a little while.

Having a child around is exhausting. She is full of energy. But we are working things out. She is very good at keeping herself entertained.

Jul. 23rd, 2016

curiosity

Party Week at the Lake House

I took a nap Sunday afternoon and when I woke up Jude had arrived, and so had Craig with The Cuteness. Craig could only stay one night but Jude and The Cuteness stayed all week.

At this point most of the week is a blur. My family are mostly early risers. And the fact that the house faced east and got the full sunrise encouraged early rising. We would get up between 6 and 7 for breakfast. Then some activity would occur: hiking Watkins Glen, a Wine Tour, a shopping trip, and then lunch. Then I would usually take a nap. Then dinner on the deck and hanging out til everyone went to bet between 9 and 10.

I got spend a couple of hours in the jacuzzi almost every day. It was not very hot and we turned the temperature down so the kids could play. Although they also swam in the lake. I didn't go down to the lake because the path was too steep for me.

On Tuesday there was a full moon, which was beautiful in a clear sky. Jude built up a fire in the fire pit and we did a full moon ritual.

Wednesday we drove back to Ithaca to check on the cats, and have lunch at the Ithaca Beer Company Taproom. I took a picture of Jude playing dots and boxes with the Cuteness in the Taproom.

Friday was the big party day. Lots of friends came and we had a lovely picnic on the deck. We had spiedies marinated in my spiedie marinade, and dad's recipe for baked beans and german potato salad. And a nice spinach salad with mushrooms and artichoke hearts.

And Fran made two lovely Schwarzwälder Kirschtortes.

My friend Rauncie arrives early and we took a dip in the jacuzzi. During the party we closed the Jacuzzi so there wouldn't be too much screaming from the children. But after my family went to bed my friends and I opened it up again and had a nice cool dip, and watched the Delta Aquariids meteor shower.

I don't think I slept much last night. We got up at around 6:30 and were out of the house by 9am. There was a bit of excitement when I couldn't find my are keys. I thought I was going to have to ask Jude to drive back to Ithaca to see if I left them in my apartment on Wednesday. But luckily Song found them in my C-PAP bag.

We had brunch at Curly's dinner in Watkins Glen. Which was quite nice. But I was crashing by then and had to leave. Jude followed me home and brought stuff up from my car for me. Which I am very grateful for. It would have taken me all week to bring that stuff up.

I slept from noon til 7:30 pm. And I still feel a bit tired and sore.

It was a good week. Jude was a blessing. As The Cuteness declared "Jude is AWESOME!"

Jul. 17th, 2016

curiosity

the lake house

As usual I didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped before I left for the lake house. I got most of the car cleaned out, made a trip to the recycling center, and did the shopping I needed to do. I got here by 6:30 in time for Pizza with the family.

After dinner. I made jello frogs with the boys. And started some ratatouille. And boiled 3 dozen eggs for pickled eggs. After boiling and shelling 3 dozen eggs, and pouring in 3 cans of beets, and one bottle of cider. I promptly dropped the gallon sized glass jug and it shattered into a million pieces. Maria, Dave, and Gaby cleaned up the huge mess. The eggs and beets were full of glass and had to be thrown away. I had reached the end of my rope. That is probably why I made the bad decision that led to me dropping the jug. So I called it a night and went to bed. It was about 9:30pm

I woke up at 3:30am when my pain meds gave out and every part of my body started complaining about how much I had abused it. But I stayed in bed for a while longer until I could hear the boys up and about. Forrest has decided it is fun to bark like a small puppy.

So, I've had my pills and I'm ready for another day.

Jul. 15th, 2016

curiosity

My Colonoscopy

I had my colonoscopy on Thursday. People warned me that the prep would be the worst part. And drinking nothing but jello, chicken broth, and laxative for a day was not fun. I usually drink a lot of water so I thought I would have no problem drinking the 4 liters of laxative. But I was wrong. I was not able to finish it. And I was not able to sleep because I kept rushing to the bathroom. I tried just sitting on the toilet but that got painful after a while.

By Thursday morning I was tired, hungry and not very happy at all.

My friend Anne had agreed to be my driver. But she had a class at the same time as my procedure so she needed to pick me up early and didn't want to come into the hospital with me. At 9am Anne called me and asked if it was Ok if her husband David drove me instead. I was just happy that I still had a driver so I was Ok with that.

David turned out to be a real blessing. He is a professional bus driver and has been trained to work with wheelchairs for his job. He was also able to come into the hospital and wait for me.

We made the mistake of dropping me off at the lower entrance to the hospital. It turns out they have moved the main entrance back to the top. But I snagged a wheelchair, and since David came in with me he was able to wheel me where I needed to go. Even if Anne had come in she would have had a hard time getting around much less helping me.

As David was pushing me down the main corridor I remembered the last time I had to go there for a procedure when I didn't have anyone to help me. I remembered how much pain I was in from walking in from the parking lot. And how painful it had been to have to walk to the intake booths, and down that hall to the waiting room for my procedure. Now I was travelling the same route and I wasn't in pain because someone was helping me. Thinking about how different it was just makes me cry.

I didn't cry when I was in pain because I don't like to "make a fuss". And I didn't ask for help because I don't like to be a burden. David was so helpful and considerate the whole time it just made me realize how much I suffer because I don't want to bother people, or make a fuss, or be a burden. So I just suck it up and suffer.

When I was checking in they asked me if I had a medical proxy on file. I didn't, and I didn't think I needed one. If anything happens, my mother is my next of kin and I'm sure she will do whatever needs to be done.

David gently encouraged me to reconsider that and actually fill out the paperwork. I listed my mom as my proxy and my sister Gina as my second if Mom was not available. David also encouraged me to call my mom and tell her what I had done, just so she would know.

He kept me company and chatted while I waited for my procedure and stayed at the hospital until I was ready to go home.

Another thing happened that made me think about how much I suffer because I don't want to bother people. While I was lying on the gurney waiting for the procedure my left knee began to hurt, a lot. I bent my knee until it stopped hurting and asked the nurse if she could put a pillow under it. She got a rolled up towel and put it under my knee but it was a bit lower than was comfortable. She asked me if that was OK and I said yes, because it was better than nothing and I didn't want to be difficult. Luckily for me she ignored me and put another towel under my knee until my it was high enough to stop hurting.

It just made me realize how often I put up with pain and struggle, rather than ask for help. I think it comes down to a fundamental belief that help will not be available. That I am alone and there is no one to help me. I don't want to make a fuss, or be a burden because if I do than people will be less willing to help me. So I don't ask unless I'm really desperate.

ANd this makes me really grateful for people who volunteer to help. People who can see that I'm struggling and offer to help without me asking.

The whole procedure went as well as such things can go. But I would have been struggling and anxious the whole time if David hadn't been there to help me. I'm really grateful that he was.

One more note about the procedure. Everyone said I would not remember it. They were wrong. I was conscious for the whole thing. I even watched the monitor. Afterward the doctor jokingly thanked me for telling him that that looked like a healthy colon to me. I was right though. I have a very healthy colon. No polyps. Just some green jello and a couple of tomato skin remnants from my BLT on Tuesday.

Afterward, I asked David to take me through the drive through at Arby's for some solid food. I was so hungry from the liquid diet. I had brought my wallet so I could pay. But David insisted in paying for my lunch. That was just another real kindness. He was such a blessing for me.

Jul. 10th, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Jul. 4th, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Jun. 30th, 2016

Cogito Ergo Nom

There is no such thing as a free lunch. Except when there is.

For the past couple of years (I don't remember how many years) my friend B had been taking me out to lunch on Fridays.

Back when I had a job we used to take turns paying for lunch. But once I got on disability I couldn't even pay for myself to go out to eat. Those Friday lunches helped a bit with my food bills (especially toward the end of the month) and also soothed my desire to eat out instead of just eating my own cooking all the time.

But B had to stop taking me out when he changed jobs. So we haven't eaten out since the beginning of May.

We were also seeing each other for brunch once a month when J came down to visit. (J takes me out for brunch when he visits.) But that hasn't happened either for the past two month and probably not this month. For scheduling reasons that have nothing to do with B's job.

I miss our Friday lunches.
Excited

Three Weeks Til My 50th Birthday Party.

My actual birthday was in April, but summer is a better time for party.

The party is on July 22. But from the 16th to the 23 my family will be renting a lake house and hanging out. So, it's more like two weeks until the party starts.

Although, I'm having my first colonoscopy on the 14th. I'm not really happy about that. But I should be recovered by the time the party starts.

I don't have any other big things scheduled between now and then so I'm taking it easy. By which I mean I'm worrying about everything. I'm going to order some more of my anxiety meds.

Jun. 29th, 2016

curiosity

My tweets

Tags:

Jun. 28th, 2016

curiosity

What's going on

I went to Pat Robert's Memorial service. Despite my best intentions I was ten minutes late to the service. But luckily I'm familiar with the UU church in Binghamton and I was able to get into the Sanctuary without causing a fuss. I arrived just in time for the reading from one of Pat's favorite books "I Could Pee on This" a collection of poems by cats. The UU minister, Rev. Douglas Taylor, did a great job. I strongly recommend him if you need to have a memorial service for a godless person. I have attended several Christian memorial services where I have left deeply offended by the behavior of Christians who use this captive audience as an opportunity to proselytize. Rev. Taylor does a wonderful job working with the family to present a service that honors the life of the deceased. I've attended two of his memorial services so far and both were very respectful. Also the UU Binghamton building is very pretty, the arrangement of rooms works well for all kinds of services, and it is handicapped accessible. They even videotaped the services and made DVDs available right after the service. My sister Maria gave one of the eulogies. She is an excellent speaker, both in content and presentation.

Then this past weekend Song and I went to the venue for her upcoming wedding and tasted cakes. They were delicious. The site is beautiful. The staff is very courteous and helpful. And the pond is full of water lilies and koi fish. I think we have the wedding all planned out now. I spent the weekend working on a project for the wedding. And I think I picked up a cold from The Teenager. It's a good thing I don't have to do anything in the next week.

There were two obituaries on the radio this evening, one for a 64 year old coach and the other for a 76 year old writer. I find myself subtracting my age from theirs and looking at how much longer I likely have to live. (14-26 years) That's the thing about turning 50, I'm unlikely to live to 100, so I have less time in front of me than I have behind me. Frankly, I never expected to live this long. People have been telling me my weight would kill me since I was a teenager.

But on a more positive note I have been working on my book! I hope to actually publish a version of it someday.
Tags: ,

Jun. 18th, 2016

curiosity

I'm feeling much better.

One of the insidious things about depression is that it doesn't just make you feel sad, it goes back over your life and finds faults in everything. It rewrites your life as an epic tragedy, or a horror story.

Anyway, I took my emergency depression medication and had a good night's sleep so I feel better today.

I want to thank everyone who sent me words of encouragement. It really does help.

Previous 30