Log in

No account? Create an account

February 2018



Powered by LiveJournal.com

God Hates Shrimp, Pagan Standard Time (Humor)

God Hates Shrimp
"Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants."
Leviticus 11:9-12, Deuteronomy 14:9-11 T-SHIRTS NOW AVAILABLE

Pagan Standard Time Clock
"A Pagan who is less than two hours late is considered "on time" just like the Long Island Railroad. With nearly a million Pagans in the United States, and twice as many in the rest of the world, we believe it's high time a clock was designed which would show time the way Pagans are used to seeing it."


point of order - the LIRR is only officially on time if it's within 5 minutes. Not two hours.

not that the LIRR isn't bad, mind you but they DO have stricter standards than PST.

<Grin, Duck and exit stage left swiftly>

If they are serious about this...LOL

this is a promise...if they ever really do make this clock... you are getting it from me as a present.
That is just too too funny.

I love you!!!!!!
Since there is no eleventh hour, there is no need for the Pagan to rush.

Oh, thank Goddess! I knew I picked the right religion!


I've always thought the opponents of gay marriage should be held accountable for the other fine points of the Torah that they busily go about dissing while they're spouting invective...

And I love the clock! Even though I'm not technically a pagan, I appear to be close enough to enough of them that PST sort of...rubs off?...on me...


The one part of that site I don't agree with is the first sentance "Pagan Standard Time is a trait peculiar to Pagans" I have encountered SCA Standard Time, and Lesbian Standard Time. This clock is very funny but really
(fill in the blank) Standard Time = about half hour late.


Oh, exactly - I had the same thought. The SCA one could use daggers for the hands on the clock...the lesbian one could use...? I'm having a naughty, naughty thought here that you'll just have to pick up telepathically all the way from where I'm typing in Florida because I don't dare type it "out loud."

There are at least some things in Christianity that start more or less "on time," but that usually depends on the punctuality of the individual in the lead. At my old parish, for example, we used to have a Wednesday morning Eucharist at 6:30; we'd have service, gather for a bit of coffee, and then head off to work. And on Tuesday evenings, we had a Bible study being led primarily by our curate (a very punctual man). And we would take care, at the end of the evening, to find out whose turn it was to take the service the next morning - because if it was him, we knew we'd better be there by 6:25, and if it was the rector (who was notoriously late) we knew we could sleep just a little bit later.


Amen to that!

A friend of mine grew up in a cult that followed Leviticus, at least partially. She's escaped, mostly, but it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that she had crab for the first time ever.

I haven't personally run across any gay marriage opponents spouting bits of the Torah that I could bait, sadly enough. It would be fun.


Well, when they're quoting things like "homosexuality is an abomination," they're essentially spouting Torah at you. In Leviticus 18:22, it says "a man shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination," and Leviticus 20:13 goes on to say that "they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them." The second of these verses has largely been rejected by most Christians and Jews, as this website discusses; they no longer call for the death penalty for homosexuality (for which we may all be profoundly grateful).

I'll go on to point out that if you examine the chapters around these verses, you'll find all manner of other rules which we either dismiss out of hand as ridiculous, or at the very least would no longer punish violation with death.

So read up, and bait away - for all the good it will do. The people who hate will not be persuaded by logic, but only by love - and we can't force them to learn to love.
I'm an atheist, but I guess I'm a pagan, too. At least I run on PST.

Pagan Atheists

There is no rule preventing Atheists from being Pagans.

The Norwegian Pagan Society is an Atheist organization.

The Cognitive Science Laboratory at Princeton University WordNet lexical database. Defines pagan as 1 A person who does not acknowledge your God. 2 Not acknowledging the God of Christianity and Judaism and Islam.

But aside from that there are practicing Wiccans who concider themselves atheists. It all depends on how one defines God. I believe in what I call the Divine Spirit but by definition that is not really a god in the sense most people think of gods it is more of an idea about reality. The more traditional gods like Hacate, Hern, Athena, Jesus, and Buddha I think of as Anthropomorphic Personafications of ideas: Architypes, or perhaps Memetypes. Ideas that have cognative weight and force.