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September 2017

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I Told You So

(via caelidh)

OK caelidh doesn't approve, but I've been saying this for a long time.
People who are looking to ease depression may have a new treatment option--marriage.
LiveScience.com Mon Jun 4, 10:45 AM ET

Basically: "A recent study suggests that marriage provides a greater psychological boost to depressed people than to happy people, even if the marriage is so-so."

So there! all you people who keep saying that being in a relationship doesn't make you happy if you aren't happy to start with. It does so!

(Not that it is an option for me. It's a good thing I have meds.)

Comments

Hurray for my meds, since marriage isn't visible in my near future...
I think this is true because having a companion like my husband has definately helped me through some really hard times.
By the way...I MISS YOU.
I have been so busy I have not had time to return your call but I will be giivng you a call when I get back from womongathering.
not so... I was married for ten years... It was slowly tearing me up inside & was detrimental to my self esteem & I gained 40+ pounds from being so dreadfully unhappy... the only good thing I got out of being married was the house I now live in.... & help getting my college education

relationships

An yet you were not the one who choose to leave the marriage, you have never forgiven him for leaving you, and you got into another relationship as soon as you could.

You constantly complain about Buddha yet are desperately afraid he will leave you too. You can't stand to be alone for even an hour.

Your relationship problems go a lot deeper than depression.

Re: relationships

I'm home alone every day Monday through Friday..
I'm fully aware what my issues are in *fact* I can define them...
I don't trust that people really like me because over & over again as a child I made a riend & they dumped me because I wasn't popular...
I was labelled retarded incorrectly by the schools...
I was fired repeatedly rom job situations... therefore reinorcing my feelings o inadequacy/i.e. not good enough...
I was dumped over & over again by a long serial monogamy chain...
I was easily wounded & have barely begun to learn to trust that people like me & actually like having me around...
I tried psychological counseling in college & could only manage to sit there & cry for an hour...
I was nearly raped as a child & I freel distrustul that people won't try to hurt/harm me....
one girl I thought was a friend actually told me "When we're adults I'll hunt you down & kill you" to my horror...
I kept choosing people to be frriends that harmed me emotionally... one rfriend in particular pretended to not be friends in school because she wanted to be popular...
I was sexually harassed in middle school...
tormented in middle school & high school...
my TRUE frriends in high school were the outcasts...
while trying to watch "frreaks & geeks" I wanted to turn it ofr- it was too damn bloody painul to watch... I *hated* it...
Yes, the wounds run deep... I didn't need that piece of information... thanks

Re: relationships

btw: to clarify- I've forgiven him for leaving... BUT I have not forgiven him for lying about why he wanted to leave.... I don't easily forgive being lied to....
"A recent study suggests that marriage provides a greater psychological boost to depressed people than to happy people, even if the marriage is so-so."

I read that quote to rob, and his immediate response was, "Misery loves company."

I think it's a co-dependent factor. If you have something or someone else to focus on, it's easier to not work on yourself. If you're willing to work on yourself, I would think that marriage would only be a distraction. (Unless you marry your therapist, which is an ENTIRELY different set of issues.)

Marriage

I don't understand your argument here.

The study showed that people who were suffering from depression showed more improvement when married than people who were not depressed to start with.

You seem to be saying that marriage interferes with working on one's self. But that would mean that depressed people are better off not working on themselves.

Re: Marriage

no...if you're determined to work on your Self, then you will find a way to do that in any situation, married or not.

I'm not actually disagreeing with you, because judging what is "happy" and what is a "psychological boost" is really not proveable in any fashion, other than what the person experiencing it claims it to be. I know people who are absolutely miserable who claim to be happy, but are somehow not in tune with their misery. Does that make them happy? I'm not sure.

The only thing I'm really saying is that (assuming a depression is non-chemically related) working on the Self is the only real long-time cure for depression. Short-term solutions are really distractions (like drug addiction. If I'm using a lifetime supply of heroin or ecstasy, I might feel like I'm really happy, but if I'm unable to feel happy without it, then I suppose it's debatable whether I really am or not. Again, that doesn't apply to chemical imbalances)

So I guess what I'm saying (in my long-ass way of explaining) is that many people use relationship addiction as a way to avoid depression. So being in a relationship WOULD give them a psychological boost, though whether or not that's actually HAPPINESS to me is questionable.

But seeing as it's not really verifiable even under the best of circumstances, I might as well just be talking out of my ass.

*sheepish grin*

Re: Marriage

For the purposes of the study "happiness" seems to be defined as "low to no depression"

But what the study actually measured was:
Previous studies have suggested that the psychological perks of marriage depend upon marriage quality--a happy marriage gives rise to a happy couple, and vice versa.

Other studies have shown that depressed people, who tend to communicate poorly and require more caring and support than happy people, also end up in unhappier marriages.

So Adrianne Frech, a sociology graduate student at Ohio State University, and her colleague, Kristi Williams, speculated that happy people would garner more psychological perks from marriage than depressed people.

To test their theory, they looked at a sample of 3,066 men and women who had been interviewed and tested for depression once in either 1987 or 1988 and then again five years later. In the interviews, they were asked about the quality of their marriage (if they were married).

On average, controlling for differences in depression, subjects who had gotten married over the five-year span between the two interviews reported improved psychological well-being in the second interview--scoring an average of 3.42 points lower on the 84-point depression scale--than their counterparts who did not marry.

When they teased apart how marriage affected those who had been depressed at the start of the study to those who had been happy, however, they came across something unexpected. The depressed who married scored an average of 7.56 points lower on the depression scale than the depressed who did not marry, while those who were happy and got married scored only 1.87 points lower on the scale.

In other words, marriage provided a much bigger psychological boost to the depressed subjects than to the happy subjects.

“We were surprised,” Frech told LiveScience. “We expected the depressed to have worse marital quality and therefore benefit less from a transition into marriage.”

The findings, to be published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, hold true even though depressed people do have unhappier marriages. “The depressed benefit more from a transition into marriage despite their having, on average, worse marital quality,” Frech noted.

The big remaining question, she says, is why depressed people benefit more from marriage than happy people. It could be that marriage provides the companionship and emotional support needed to help alleviate depression, she said.