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curiosity

October 2017

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curiosity

Something that has been on my mind.

A while ago a couple of people told me that they thought I was rude to people who I thought were not as smart as me.

Well, first of all thinking that I am behaving rudely is one thing, thinking you know what I'm thinking is another.

I'm willing to listen if someone thinks my behavior is rude. If I didn't mean to be rude I am willing to apologize.

But, after conducting a thorough self inventory I know that when I think I'm smarter than someone I am rarely rude to them.

When I respect someone's intelligence I am willing to argue with them. I love to have a good argument with an intelligent person. When I decide that a person is not very bright or that they are unable or unwilling to listen to reason I start smiling brightly and being very polite to them. I sincerely try not to be rude to dumb or irrational people. If you want me to be pleasant and never disagree with you just convince me that you are stupid or irrational.

Wolf has suggested that maybe my overly polite behavior is what is upsetting people. I don't know what to do about that. I really am trying to be polite in those situations. I don't behave any differently than other occasions when I'm motivated to be really nice, like when I'm talking to a boss or someone I want to impress. I can be quite obsequious. Which isn't really good, but it is opposite of rude.

It just seems more likely that the behavior that people are taking offense to is when I think that someone is as smart as I am, my equals. I can be very harsh to smart people, because I expect a lot of them.

It's ironic that people think I am treating them as if they are stupid, when actually I'm treating them as if they are smart.

It's unfortunate that the way I treat people when I think they are smart leaves them thinking I think they are stupid. I'm not really sure what to do about that. That certainly isn't my intent.

Comments

I get that a lot as well. I can't tell you how many times I have just agreed with the idiot in question just so that I can walk away in peace.

I tend to be "nice" to less intelligent people, rather than make them feel like I'm being mean to them. It's almost like talking slower to someone deaf. I don't know if it makes any difference, it certainly won't make them any smarter. I'd rather act dumb than get my face smashed in! After all, it doesn't take a lot of brains to use your fists.

I regret that having to dumb myself down is the only way that I have found to be less lonely - since nobody ants to be around a know-it-all. In the end it will only be those that take the time to REALLY get to know me to find that I'm much brighter than the 40watt light that I let out to most.

Thanks for the comment.

Yeah, there is no point in arguing with someone who can't understand what you are saying.

It's like that saying about teaching a pig to sing. It just wastes your time and annoys them.

This is funny, in an ironic sort of way.

I often feel that I'm not as smart as you, as I quickly learned about your love of arguments and realized I can't keep up with you. Perhaps that's where the trouble is? You're looking for a good debate, but the people around you aren't up to said debate, for whatever reason. I know this is why I keep quiet when you and Wolf start debating.

Then again, you've never smiled brightly and started being super-polite with me, so I guess that means I meet your standards. I, personally, don't like debates or arguments, as more often then not such discussions end very poorly for me. I'll be happy to discuss a point, or learn something new, or give information, but once the conversation falls into the back and forth of an actual debate, I get quiet. It's a safety response that I just realized.

Re: This is funny, in an ironic sort of way.

"Perhaps that's where the trouble is? You're looking for a good debate, but the people around you aren't up to said debate, for whatever reason."

I think so too.
It is very lonely for me.

*HUGS*

I can't imagine how lonely.

*plops on Mr Fix-It hat*

Taking your social anxiety in mind, I don't suppose there's some kind of debate club SOMEWHERE in Ithaca?