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February 2018



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What Do Our Emotions Want From Us.

After we figure out what emotions we are feeling the next step is to figure out what to do about it.

Emotions are our body's way of communicating. Different emotions want different things. Sometimes the same emotions want different things at different times, and frequently the same emotions want different things from different people.

These are the basics I could come up with:

Attraction wants to get closer

Repulsion wants to get away

Love wants connection (company, to share, or to comfort)(sometimes it doesn't want anything)

Loneliness wants connection (loneliness wants us to let other people in)

Joy wants to continue (be expressed, share, or be shared) (sometimes it doesn't want anything)

Sorrow wants to end (comfort, to be comforted)

Trust wants to take chances

Fear wants to be safe

Overwhelmed wants time to deal (to stop and catch it's breath)

Anger wants to take action

Love and Joy are very similar. And Loneliness and Sorrow are very similar.


I wonder if a difference between love and joy is that, for me, joy has the connection with the world that love desires and is rejoicing in it.

What I was focusing on here is what action the emotion wants us to take. When I feel love what do I want to do.

In my previous post I sort of defined Love as those feelings that involve empathy for others. Whereas I defined Joy as any kind of pleasure.

So, Love is a feeling of connection and the action that it wants is for that connection to be expressed.

It's the difference between enjoying good cup of tea wanting to make it for your friends so they can enjoy it too, and seeing someone you care about and wanting to hug them. The first is joy the second is love.

Someone feeling love might be motivated to hug strangers. Someone feeling joy would be more likely to jump up and down and shout cheerfully at strangers. Although, both might just wander around smiling.

I think the biggest difference is that when you see someone who is suffering the desire to alleviate that suffering is more likely to come from a feeling of love than a feeling of joy.

These are emotions I'm talking about here so I'm not sure I'm expressing what I mean as accurately as I had hoped. I can feel the difference inside myself, but I'm not sure I'm communicating it effectively.