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October 2017

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cat helmet

"Well Read" by Deep Fried Man



Well Read
(because not enough rappers rhyme about how well read they are)
[This one goes out to all you John Grisham reading motherfuckers. You think you know what literature is because you finished Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code? Stop fronting, yo…]
Oh Yes.
That's right.
This is how it's going down.

Rappers wanna boast about being rich
But I bet I've read more books than you, bitch
So maybe you got more money than me
But I'm superior intellectually
So, when I get to my crib know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna read The Outsider by Albert Camus
I'm gonna read it through while I'm on the loo
Then I'll read the complete works of Kafka too
So what you want to battle me for?
Don't you know I've read Sun Tzu's Art of War
And nothing you could do or say could scare me
Since I've read The Prince by Machiavelli
You wanna battle? Your brain isn't strong enough
I thought War and Peace wasn't long enough
Haters wanna hate 'cos I'm so well read
When I rhyme English professors nod their head

My vocabulary is monumental
That's why I use words like existential
And quintessential and juxtaposition
I bet you don't even know the definition

My vocabulary is bigger than yours is
And that's why I don't even use a thesaurus
And this is the chorus, so raise your phalanges
That's hands, in case you don't understand me

So why you wanna tell me that you've read
On the Road like that gives you cred?
Kerouac is wack, that book was lousy
Compared to Burroughs or Bukowski
I'd recommend The Fountainhead instead
But it would probably go straight over your head
You're an idiot, and you don't impress me
I've read The Idiot by Dostoyevsky
So you've read James Joyce's Ulysses
Me too, and I thought it was an easy read
Shakespeare's too commercial for me
I'd rather read a Sophocles tragedy
So word up to all my homeys at the library
Everybody turn to page 103
All my homeys, all my thugs
Let's have a discussion on Atlas Shrugs

My vocabulary is monumental
That's why I use words like existential
And quintessential and juxtaposition
I bet you don't even know the definition

My vocabulary is bigger than yours is
And that's why I don't even use a thesaurus
And this is the chorus, so raise your phalanges
That's hands, in case you don't understand me

Can't speak Arabic, or Aramaic
I don't want to fool you
I can't speak Zulu, or Africans really
I can't speak Swahili
Can't translate Russian
Or have a French discussion
My Lithuanian's crap
Could never spit a Spanish rap
Or do a Banqiao CD
I don't speak Hindi
My books on Mandarin
I just abandon them
It's all Greek to me
But with due respect see
At least I can spell all their names correctly
Cause..

My vocabulary is monumental
That's why I use words like existential
And quintessential and juxtaposition
I bet you don't even know the definition

My vocabulary is bigger than yours is
That's why I don't even use a thesaurus
And this is the chorus, so raise your phalanges
That's hands, in case you don't understand me

Comments

HEEE!