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March 2018



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Crazy Old Cat Woman Journals

The thing about living alone is that there is no one to look you over and make sure you haven't gone off on a daily basis. Which is why people who live alone end up looking deranged, if not simply becoming deranged.

For instance, today I went grocery shopping with a towel hanging out of the back of my pants. I only noticed it when I got home and it got caught in my front door as I was coming in. This is one of those times when I'm really glad that I ride around the store in a cart, so, while there was probably a towel visible hanging from my cart, it might not have been obvious that it was tucked into my pants.

I just really wish that I wasn't alone, so someone could look me over before I go out and make sure I don't embarrass myself.


I understand the desire to share living space, and all the wonderful parts of living with someone else, at the same time as I envy you your complete independence, and freedom to make daily decisions without having to consider ANYONE else's feelings, needs, wants or hang-ups......
It's true I don't *have to* consider anyone else. I would never have learned how much I stress over that if I hadn't been living alone, and not worrying about work. Joseph was a good housemate and never expected me to defer to him, but just moving around a shared space stresses me a bit. Just as having a schedule or appointments stresses me out. Which is why I had to be both alone and disabled before I could be truly without stress. As long as I was working or trying to find work I was stressed. I really have an abnormally elevated stress sensor.