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March 2018



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Be Nice

Bad Day But It Could Have Been Worse.

I woke up feeling grumpy and sore today. I had a Dr. appointment at 10am for a follow up on my blood tests. Just routine to make sure my liver isn't dying. I checked the results online a couple of days ago. My triglycerides are a bit high, but there is nothing my Dr can do about that but tell me to exercise. My A1C is back down to 7 She wants it to be <6.5 but it is down from the high of 7.8 it was last time. So that is good. I don't have hepatitis but I probably have a fatty liver, which is not good. But also not a surprise.

Anyone wishing to give me medical advice: Please Keep It To Yourself!

When I got back from the Dr. I was still feeling tired, sore, and grumpy. I took my Effexor (for depression and anxiety) this morning and the Celebrex (for pain), and two Acetaminophen (also for pain). Since I was still in pain and feeling depressed I took one of my few remaining Tramadol (for pain) and my Diazepam (for depression and anxiety).

I had my therapist appointment today. Which was sort of convenient as I could tell him how I was feeling. Although I tend to put on a happy face around people. And I was highly medicated by the time I saw him. The parking situation is still not good and I knew I was going to have to walk and be in physical pain.

I told him about my theory that my periodic severe depression was the result of a hormonal spike not any psychological trauma. He suggested that it might be a drop not a spike. I just meant it had a physical cause: spike, drop, six of one, half a dozen of the other. But that got me thinking (I have been reading a lot about brain chemistry lately) A sudden drop in Dopamine levels would cause both physical pain and emotional distress. I need to look into that. [The “Chemical Imbalance” in Mental Health Problems by Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist. Nope my symptoms are consistent with low serotonin, and maybe some low GABA. Although I won't totally rule out Low Dopamine]

So, I'm still feeling out of sorts, and my knees, hips, and lower back hurt. But I'm not lying in bed crying so it could be worse.
My pain level today is somewhere between a 3 and a 4 on the Allie Brosh Alternative Pain Scale That is somewhere between:
3: This is distressing. I don't want this to be happening to me at all.
4: My pain is not fucking around.


I wish you less pain in your life.
Thank you.
I feel much better this morning.
No medical advice, just hugs.

My therapist wants me to have a blood test for hypothyroidism. I'll be surprised if I have it, but it does have a lot of effects that are on target for me, including depression. I can see why she wants to see if we can rule it in or out. In reading about that, I also read about idiopathic hypersomnia with long sleep, which is related to a molecule that interacts with GABA. GABA issues are also potentially implicated in depression. It's amazing the way our biochemistry can mess us up.
I've been reading about the brain. It's amazing that that we can function at all.