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October 2018



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Ow! Ow! Ow!

So, I'm paying for yesterday's over reaching.

Today my legs hurt when I'm standing. My knees usually protest when I stand up and then my legs start hurting when I stand too long. But today the pain in my legs starts at 3 (This is distressing I don't want this to be happening to me at all.*) rapidly proceeds up the scale to 6 (Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now.), at which point I sit down.

While I'm home I can usually sit down while it's still a 3. But I had my mammogram today. That meant going downstairs, driving to the clinic, checking in, walking to the next waiting room, and standing in funny positions with my tits caught in a vise. The thing about mammograms is that you have to stand perfectly still while the machine takes the picture. With my breasts they usually have to take several pictures of each breast from two angles. Normally the subject just stands there while the tech changes the plates and makes adjustments. It takes a bit longer with me having to sit down between pictures. All that siting down and standing up was not fun for my knees. Which is why I was holding out till my pain got to 6. I think the tech took pity on me and took as few pictures as she could. I was sweating and clenching my fists just to keep standing. Usually I can walk out of the clinic without taking a break but today I had to take three breaks just to get out of the building.

I came home and went back to bed.

Just sitting here now I've got a low level ache in my lower back and left hip (2) but otherwise I'm fine. My hands were a bit "stiff" earlier. By stiff I mean it hurt when I moved my fingers and I had trouble making a fist. They feel much better now.

Some times I have these fantasies of competence. I imagine projects I want to accomplish, things I want to do. I make plans for what I'm going to do, and imagine going through with them, and how happy I will be with the results. Then I remember that I can barely stand, and kneeling isn't an option, and my body is just not going to go along with my plans. This makes me sad. I have ambition. I have drive. My spirit is willing. My body is just not up to it doing what my mind plans.

* Allie Brosh: A Better Pain Scale


I hope we both can move our bodies towards forms that better suit who we are inside.
Recent studies have shown that there is no statistical difference between standing and sitting mammograms. Obviously, women who have had spinal injuries or who have standing issues should have the option of sitting mammograms.
Agitate. Agitate agitate agitate.
I asked the tech about it twice and she said it would be difficult.

I suppose I should have insisted. I just didn't feel up to it. I haven't had much luck getting my medical care providers to do things my way.
I also found http://accessibility-fail.dreamwidth.org/18949.html which includes the line spoken to an x-ray tech "Wait a minute, are you saying that, for the last ten years when I've come here in my wheelchair, those films are no good?"
It's too late for this year, but maybe you (and your clinic) should know about this: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18203875

That paper's abstract concludes:
In summary, there were benefits of sitting during mammography for women with previous experience of mammography in terms of improved ease of positioning and comfort. In terms of film quality, there were disadvantages associated with seated mammography for first-time patients, although these might not be clinically significant.


I'm not looking forward to mammograms. My barely-As aren't going to fit in the regular vise and they'll have to break out the pre-teen vise and pinch me twice as hard and my boobs ache just THINKING about it.

I hope your pain gets back to zero soon.